So Softowl has been fighting some other tumblr users again (I unfollowed her a really long time ago but someone I follow reblogged it) and, being a nosy fuck, I decided to investigate. The user that commented on the subject at hand (kumaradosha) (also can’t properly link because of shitty phone blogging but she tags it as shenanigans??) got this ask. If you go to her page or Softowl’s, it takes some digging but you can find the context of her reply to Softowl that is generating such responses.

In this ask, I feel the asker is taking things a little out of context. Here is me trying to view this from an objective view point and pointing out some flaws in the reasoning behind both the above ask and the response by Softowl and her followers. For one, the OP never said that Softowl deserves the hate and threats to her health, so no actual victim-blaming, and actually expressed some semblance of compassion originally, stating “I’m sorry you have to go through this” I know it isn’t your fault and it sucks it happens”. She did start it out with the statement take… A chill… Pill…” which is definitely inflammatory but also stated that she wanted to help the situation, making sure to say that Softowl did not have to take her advice whatsoever. This ask was sent in as a response to OP’s response.

What really irked me about this is the awful comparison. For one, verbal abuse is NOT the same as physical, so the rape comparison is not identical. Not saying it is better or worse. Just not the same. Actually, in the context of a famous person having a famous blog, the comparison would have been better if it went a little more like: “look, it really sucks that you keep getting stalked and that people keep verbally threatening you, and that should never happen, is bad, and is certainly not your fault, but maybe you should stop visiting that one part of town where it always happens in the future?? I don’t want to see you keep getting hurt.” and having the other party respond with “wow, you must be emotionally abusive to say this to me, and are part of the problem. You need to stop blaming me for what others do and try to fix it”. The original party then points out that said Victim KNOWS the dangers of said neighborhood, does not need to go there for any particular reason, and reiterates that she is sorry to have upset said Victim but they were only trying to help. Again, OP is met with condescension and hostility, thinly veiled by a passive aggressive approach. Objectively, this seems a little weird and silly for said Victim to be reacting to someone innocently trying to stop the verbal abuse they are getting by verbally abusing them. And the advice is not bad, considering the situation.

Since this is getting a little long, I’ll try wrapping it up. All i am trying to say is that this is a terrible comparison and an even worse conclusion to jump to. Victim-blaming is a terrible thing, that should be stopped at all costs. But honestly, giving advice that you think might help is not “victim-blaming.” It is actually usually referred to as “trying to help.” I think this person may have been clumsy with the wording perhaps. But it definitely is not the same as saying she DESERVED it and the response by Softowl was certainly not warranted.

It is late and I will probably regret this, but I see this logical fallacy in “victim-blaming” accusations quite a bit and wanted to point it out. Thanks for everyone’s time.